How to help your child who is experiencing suicidal thoughts

First let me just say, however you responded in the moment is okay. 
If you overreacted in some way, responded with anger, or punishment I understand. 
Don't be afraid to apologize when you have done something from an emotional state, that you later regret. 
Parents are human too. 

If your child comes to you, or if you find out from another concerned adult such as a School Social Worker or School Counselor, that your child has expressed suicidal ideation, what can you do? 

• Listen- let your child talk to you about how they feel
• Believe- don't assume that your child is attention-seeking 
• Support- avoid punishment and ask how you can support them
• Inform- tell your child what you will do, such as locating a therapist or exploring hospitalization
• Breathe- it can be easy to react without thinking, breathe first
• Acknowledge- how are you feeling after learning what you have? Take the time to really acknowledge these feelings so that your words are not causing harm. 
• Be Kind- do not seek to blame yourself for this or assume others are judging you

In my years of working with children and their parents, I have often been the person to contact parents and inform them of their child's suicidal thoughts or actions. The responses have ranged from disbelief, anger, dismissiveness, and sadness. Often times parents want to know why their child is sad, depressed, anxious, and/ or suicidal. Occasionally parents will insist that their child tell them why they are upset, and if a reason cannot be identified the parent draws the conclusion, that the child must be wrong. I.e. "You have nothing to be sad about". Unfortunately, depression and other mental health conditions do not always have an identifiable cause. Or the person may be unable to put their feelings and thoughts into words. This does not make their feelings any less real. 

Do know that how you respond can have a big impact on your child. Your actions can lead to your child feeling supported and loved or disbelieved and burdensome. Don't be afraid to seek the help of others such as mental health professionals and medical professionals. Know that your child's mental health needs are not a sign of you "failing" as a parent. 

National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

*Note this is not a diagnostic tool or replacement for mental health treatment. 

Preventing suicide with talk?

I am sure everyone has known someone that has been down or clinically depressed in their lifetime. 

Many times you may suggest that person "talk to someone" or get those emotions out. 

But what about those that are suffering from thoughts of suicide or those who have actually tried to die by suicide?

A Danish study that followed participants for 20 years found that "those who received therapy were 27 percent less likely to attempt suicide again" after their first attempt. 

This is very good news because though many of us know that talking about what is troubling us 

can help, this is the first study of its kind to really look into how talk therapy (counseling) really

impacts the rate of further suicide attempts. 

If you know someone who is suicidal please don't just suggest that they go talk to someone. 

Offer yourself and offer this number 1-800-273-8255 or website for further help. 

I personally have known someone that attempted suicide, and have had someone close to me

die by suicide. 

Knowing now there is proof that therapy reduces the likelihood of another attempt makes me feel

much better about my chosen career and being able to help others, not just clients with this in the 

future. 

Tell me have you been impacted by depression or suicide?

Edited March 25, 2022, to correct outdated language in regard to suicide.